Thursday, August 2, 2007

Stressed

I hate myself for raising my voice when scolding her
I hate myself for spanking her occasionally
I hate myself for losing my temper so easily
I hate myself for not having more patience with her
I hate myself for not playing enough with her
I hate myself for not teaching her enough
I hate myself for not having more self discipline
I hate myself for procrastinating
I hate myself for being lazy
I hate myself for being selfish about my "personal time"

etc...

etc...

etc...

I hate myself for not being a better mummy in all ways. That's one of the reasons why I am reluctant to have No.2 earlier. I have no confidence to cultivate Shannon to become a bright child not mentioning No.2 when I have lesser time.

Being a parent or child at this generation is not easy at all. Singapore Educational Systems can stress you up to the wall! In Singapore, we can send our children to all kind of enrichment classes but we do not have that kind of spare cash. Over here in France, we have some spare cash but no enrichment class can be found here. Everything here is all in French, we have to teach them English and Mandarin ourselves. English is still manageable but Mandarin? I am not bad in Mandarin but have no confidence on how to teach all the hanyu pinyin and strokes...

During our times, parent can just leave us playing and playing for the first few years of our life. Now, you are expected to teach your child from birth! The children are expected to be able to read and write in K1! Nowadays, toddlers can read at 2 years old and be reading Harry Potters at 4 years old! I have no doubt on the kids who are taught since birth! They are really genius!

My goodness!!! My goodness!!! How am I going to attain that kind of achievement??? Worse part is I do not any excuse for not teaching her well because I am a Stay At Home Mummy....*_*

3 friends commented ^_^:

caroline said...

Jasmine,i agreed totally with what u said!studies are too stressful nowadays and i feel so sorry for my kids too.bring them to the world and suffer,haha....studies in s'pore are really driving us up the wall.dunno izit i'm too kiasu or watever.....stay happy always :-)

Derrick said...

Jasmine, don't feel bad. Me and Nicole is also raising the way we feel suitable for Claire. We don't send her to any enrichment class cos we still feel a child needs to enjoy her childhood. so don't worry too much .

Shannon's Mummy said...

Actually the kids are not that stress now leh.. its the parent who are stressed up! hehe